Saturday, October 8, 2011

Palin the Patriot Has Her Own Version of U.S. History (June 16, 2011)


  Listen my children and you shall hear…the dopiest revision of American history you’ll ever read.
Sarah Palin, the folksy ex-governor of Alaska and former vice presidential candidate, was recently on a bus tour of historic east coast locations — with her family and the media in tow — possibly trying to gauge her chances of becoming the GOP’s candidate to run against Barack Obama in 2012. She has yet to formally a commit, but as she mingled with the masses on this trip, and other signs, including hiring a staff of advisors, it indicates Palin may be weighing a decision to join the growing slate of potential Republican candidates.
Democrats may be salivating over the latter option, even though Palin polls near the top in recent surveys, because with her as the GOP or possibly a third party challenger, it would easily allow them to remain in the White House for another four years if Palin was the Great Right Hope.
Promoted as the “One Nation Tour to educate and energize Americans about our nation’s founding principles, in order to promote the Fundamental Restoration of America,” Palin did little to educate anyone when she was in Boston two weeks ago. When asked about Paul Revere’s famous “midnight ride” to warn of approaching British forces, the former Alaska governor’s response left historians dumbfounded and made her the butt of jokes, although it kept her in the media spotlight — something she seems to crave — for a day or two.
A few loyal supporters even rushed to Wikipedia — the Web Site where anyone can write whatever they damn well please, regardless of truth or consequences on any person or subject — to edit the Paul Revere page to justify Palin’s mangled explanation of the silversmith’s famous 1775 ride. The new version read that Revere did not say “The British are coming” because most people at the time considered themselves British. The edit was reportedly quickly reversed.
Incidentally, this trip is an obvious self-promotion tour — as she employs her talent for media manipulation — and a possible prelude to a Palin presidential run next year. However, her daughter Piper seemed to scold the media when they questioned her mother during a stop at Gettysburg. The girl said something like, “Leave us alone, you’re spoiling our vacation.”
A conscientious mother should have turned to the girl and said, “Honey, this may be your summer vacation, but it’s not mine, so please be respectful to reporters even when they are mean.”
Now that she’s defended her revisionist history remarks, if the former governor, who studied political science in college, abstains from presidential politics this time around, maybe she will teach a course aptly titled, “Sarah Palin’s Revised American History 101.”
When the subject of The War of 1812 comes up, maybe she’ll inform students it should actually be known as the American Revolution Part II, since the enemy was still the British.
The Civil War, in Palin’s assessment, may not have primarily been about ending slavery, but rather about making cotton the official American fabric.
And, in her mind, the internment of Japanese citizens in WWII was justified to avoid sushi from becoming a national favorite, instead of hamburgers, hot dogs and mom’s apple pie.
She might tell students we only lost the War in Vietnam because we pulled out when we figured North Vietnam had a better chance of reuniting their own country than we did by prolonging the war.
Public speakers and politicians have sporadic gaffes, but Sarah Palin’s blunders are too frequent — especially for one who aspires for the highest elected office in the land. As a vice presidential candidate in the 2008 campaign, her recurring misstatements became regular fodder for liberals, comedians and talk show hosts. In 2011, her slip ups are still a source for jokes.
To satisfy her inflated ego, Palin the Patriot might also twist the words of the 35th president’s most familiar quote: “Let me remind you what President John Fitzgibbon Kennedy told every American: Ask not what I can do for my country, but what I can do for myself. You betcha!”
Talk about America going to heck in a hand basket, if someone with the apparent lack of aptitude of Sarah Palin can emerge and remain an influential figure, it draws attention to the sad state of American politics.